Indian Wedding

I've been told numerous times that Indian weddings are so lavish, celebratory and beautiful... and not-so-secretly I was hoping to be able to see a wedding during my time here.  But the today was the day - we were all invited to a wedding (arranged marriage) in H.D. Kote, a village roughly 30 minutes from Kenchanahalli.  I had to get up very early to get ready, but fortunately I had a sari and was prepared for the occasion!  One of the doctors, who is my neighbour, helped me to get ready and lent me a necklace, a bangle (that's a funny story in and of itself) and gave me a bindi, so I looked as authentically-Indian as possible for a Canadian!

A little bit of background on the three types of Indian weddings.  There are arranged marriages (the most traditional and the most complex), love-come-arranged marriages (as women are receiving more education, these are becoming more common) and love marriages.  Ultimately, arranged marriages of some flavour are the most common and socially acceptable.  Dr. Arundatti ("air-oon-dot-tea") explained to me the difference on the night before the wedding - arranged marriages are highly complex in the number of steps and checks of assurance that are made by the family members, but not by the couple themselves.  The entire family is involved in the selection of a partner for the bride or groom to be, and in most cases - but not all - the couple gets the final say as to whether they would like to marry the proposed individual.  Culturally, this type of wedding makes sense to me.  Indian culture is such that men and women do not often share the same company, and therefore it would be quite difficult to "meet Mr. Right," as we would say at home.  Also, family is so important here that it is logical why the family would be so fully involved in such an important process.  Secondly, love-come-arranged marriages are when the couple meets and falls in love - often in graduate school - and then the family arranges their marriage.  These are becoming more prevalent and are widely accepted as ultimately, the families both approve of the union.  Love marriages, however, are highly frowned upon.  In these cases, the couple meets and falls in love, but the families do not approve of the match.  One possibility for the disagreement would be if the wedding was an "out-of-caste" marriage - this is highly frowned upon, as people are expected to marry within their own caste.

Indian weddings take place over multiple days, and we were invited to the last day of the ceremonies - where the actual "marriage" component takes place.  The wedding was beautiful.  The ceremony itself was comprised of dozens of smaller rituals, some of which we were able to participate in!  At one point, everyone who was invited went to the front, where the couple was seated under a golden dais, and poured buttermilk, followed by water over the couple's hands, and then placed small amounts of rice on each of their heads.  I'm not sure of the symbolism, but it was really neat to see the entire "audience" blessing the couple.  During the ceremony, there are many exchanges - of flowers, food, necklaces - and each have a special meaning in Hindu culture.

We were fed two meals while we were there - and they were served traditional-style, on a banana leaf.  I've never seen anything like that before.  Note the teeny banana in the picture below - it is one of my favourite fruits that I've eaten here (I think second only to mangos).  They are so much more flavourful than the bananas that we have at home... and they actually have a slight strawberry flavour to them.  So good.

One of the most interesting parts for me, though, was an elderly man who approached me and wanted to talk.  Unlike everyone else I've met thus far, he greeted me as if I was an Indian woman, by referring to me as "Sister," a term of endearment for those you are close with.  That felt really special.  He caught me by surprise with one of the questions he asked me though, "are you educated, sister?"... he was very shocked by the amount of education I've already received!  

Overall, the wedding was such a cultural experience - on so many levels.  The entire dynamic was something unlike anything else I've experienced or seen before.  Being so fully immersed in Indian culture is such a learning experience - and so much fun.